So it finally happened, I lost virtually everything. Last night I went out for dinner and when I came home I discovered that all my old websites were hacked. My old Wordpress website, bless it, had succumbed to the laws of entropy. My web developer was about to get on a flight to his wedding so nothing to be done about it now. Certainly it could be fixed, but not without a great deal of time and trouble and investment.
If this had happened to me in the past I would have felt so stressed out about it. Instead, I received that email with relief. After all, I am starting over.
On January 31 I gave myself a new name: Danielle Final, and with it two new titles; fine artist and high priestess. This new version of myself is far less compromising. Doing commercial fashion illustration now feels intolerable to me. Every request for a revision feels like a violation. Yet I am still getting gigs for my old self and it is hard to turn them down. Dragging my previous identity into my present is as unwieldy as a butterfly carrying its old cocoon.
Updating my so-called professional online presence was going to be a huge task, and not one I was looking forward to. It was four websites wide and fifteen years deep. So this hacking felt like salvation. What if I just declared digital bankruptcy and started over? Twelve hours later, here is this new website.
It feels like it’s 2004 all over again, except this time, I’m confident in my work. If I am an artist, I can be even more reckless than I was as a fashion student. Back then, against all good advice I threw whatever I was thinking into a text box, pressed publish and all these adventures happened. Somehow it all worked out. I never had to get a job. I want to do that again, and this time I want to go even further. I’m feeling truly audacious. I am excited about sharing on the internet again.
I’ve been making all of this art that I love. The stories behind each work are wild. I want to write about it all.
The blog is dead! Long live the blog!
I love losing! I love endings. That’s why I’m called Final.